


Perfect

by thomasjeffersonsmacaroni



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Violence referenced
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-23 15:47:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8333338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thomasjeffersonsmacaroni/pseuds/thomasjeffersonsmacaroni
Summary: College student Poe Dameron's world is turned upside down when his friend Rey Kenobi from Resistance Mechanics Club introduces him to her friend Finn Skywalker.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Patrice](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Patrice).



> This is dedicated to and written for my very dear friend Patrice, whose birthday is today, November 7th, and posted by her request at the time of her birth, 4:20 PM by my time zone. Happy birthday, Patrice! Thank you for supporting me through rough times and laughing alongside me during happy ones, for sticking through my Hamilton obsession and human-disaster-ness and social awkwardness and bullshit, for being my number one fan and one of my number one friends. You have changed me in many different ways, and I genuinely don't know where I would be without you by my side and in my life. This little fic doesn't even come close to reciprocating all the good that you've done me, but I hope it's good enough.  
> To Patrice and everyone else: enjoy!

When Poe Dameron walked in to the college cafeteria, McDonald's bag in hand, his friend Rey was already waving at him from their usual table. As he got closer to her, he could see that their group was all there, but as he got even closer, he could see that one more chair was pulled up than usual.

"Hi, Poe," Rey said through a mouthful of taco.

"Hey, Rey," he replied, purposely saying "Hey" instead of "Hi" so that it would rhyme. "Who's the other chair for?"

"Oh, this is my friend Finn," Rey explained, gesturing to a beautiful guy next to her with dark skin and eyes. "He transferred here from another college and he's in some of my classes. Finn, that's Poe."

Poe set his tray down in front of the chair and stretched his hand out in greeting, praying that when the other man took it, he wouldn't notice how much his palm was sweating. "Hi, Finn. Nice to meet you."

"Hi, Poe. Rey tells me that you're in her mechanics group?"

"Yep, the Resistance. That's how these nerds and I met." He gestured with one hand at the table as the other pulled out a Big Mac and began to eat it.

"Rey and I met 'cause we're in the same introductory classes," Finn explained, hands awkwardly crossed on the table as he watched the others eat their lunches. He looked as if he had not eaten, and Poe was instantly saddened.

"Oh, Finn, you look hungry. Do you want my burger?"

A look of relief crossed Finn's face. "Yeah, sure. Thanks."

Poe passed the burger, which he had already bitten out of, across the table. "Sorry, I already started on it. But you looked hungry."

"Oh, don't give me the whole thing," said Finn, ripping it in half and giving back the part that Poe had bitten out of.

"Oh. Yeah. Thanks. I'd never give a whole burger to  _anyone._ "

Finn laughed. "Me neither. Thanks  _so much_ , though. I didn't have enough money to buy lunch today, and I was  _starving._ "

"Hey, no problem." He tried to sound casual, as if talking to a friend, but his insides were screaming, and he felt his heart hammering against his ribs as Finn smiled in gratitude.

After lunch, he walked to his introductory bio class, which he had with his friend Jess Pava. When both were out of earshot of Finn and Rey, who were walking out together, she poked him in the side.

"Finn Skywalker is beautiful, isn't he?"

Poe looked at her with a sheepish smile. "Yeah. He's probably straight, though."

"I don't know. Was your gaydar going off around him?"

"Testor, I wasn't thinking about my gaydar around him. I wasn't thinking about  _anything_ about him. I just sorta shut down."

"Aww, Poe's in _love!_ "

"Shut  _up._ "

But as Poe sat down at his usual seat in the lecture hall, phone out and open to the recording app and notebook out to take notes, all he could think about was Finn's smile that could probably light up the world if given the chance.

 

_To: Reydar: Hey, do you have Finn's #? I want to add him to my contacts_

_Reydar: Yeah, it's (555)-736-2187 :)_

_To: Reydar: Okay thanks!_

_To: Reydar: [key emoji]_

_Reydar: [key emoji]_

_To: Reydar: [Minion meme]_

_Reydar: stOP ALREADY WHEN WILL I BE FREE_

Poe held the phone to his chest for a second, looking up with a goofy smile, before looking back down at it.

_To: Finn the Cutie: Hey, this is Poe from lunch, Rey gave me your #_

For a long time, he stared at the Messaging app, waiting for Finn to respond. Finally, the three dots showed up in the corner of the screen, and then his phone dinged with a notification.

_Finn the Cutie: Oh hey Poe! How are you doing?_

_To: Finn the Cutie: I'm doing okay, just about to start homework_

_Finn the Cutie: Me too, I'd rather be talking to you though :)_

_Whoa._ Poe stared at the screen, barely seeing it.  _Finn would rather be talking to me._ Me!

He shook his head to clear the thoughts away.  _Anyone would rather be talking to anyone than doing homework. Shut up, Poe._

_To: Finn the Cutie: Same same same :) So how was your day?_

They texted for another couple of hours, and by the time Poe thought to look at his clock, it was way too late to do all his homework and get a decent amount of sleep.

 

_Finn the Cutie: Hey dude, a couple of my friends and I are meeting up for drinks after school tomorrow, want to come with?_

_To: Finn the Cutie: Yeah sure, I'm free then_

_Finn the Cutie: Great, can't wait to see you there :)_

_To: Finn the Cutie: :)_

 

For a couple of weeks, their relationship quickly grew from a casual acquaintanceship into a strong friendship, and the nervousness that Poe felt around Finn ebbed away as he grew to accept that Finn was probably straight (if he were gay or bi, Poe's logic was, he would have told him already, especially since they were friends and Poe was openly gay). They went to each other's apartments and to restaurants and movie theaters, always either with other people or together in a completely platonic way. But sometimes he would see Finn working on an essay, or talking excitedly about something, or reading, and he would admire the curves of his body, his sheepish smile, his dark brown eyes, and he would be filled with a sense of sad longing.

_Shut up, Poe. He's straight._

 

One day, Poe was lying down on his couch, wrapped in a blanket as he caught up on the first season of  _Stranger Things,_ when he felt his phone buzz next to him. He picked it up, saw that it was a text from Finn, and paused the show as he opened the messaging app to respond.

_Finn the Cutie: Hey can I call you to talk about something serious?_

_To: Finn the Cutie: Yeah sure what is it?_

Soon, he got a call from Finn, and he answered it.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” he asked when he answered.

“I need to tell you something that you don’t know about me.” Finn’s voice sounded close to breaking on the other end of the line. “I used to be part of a gang at my old college. They called themselves the Stormtroopers.”

“Yeah?” Poe asked hesitantly.

“And I was a low key member at first, you know, just helping around and making it seem like they had more people than they actually had, but then I went to our first rumble.”

Finn hesitated, sounding like he was trying not to cry, and Poe was silent, allowing his friend to recover before continuing.

“And I watched a friend of mine in the gang die. I had to stand by and do nothing as someone in the other gang had a chain in his hand and hit him in the head. I had to pretend that I didn’t care about his blood spilling everywhere and his skull cracking and him just falling to the ground and dying.”

Finn took a breath before continuing; he had said the last sentence quickly, as if he was trying to get it out before he broke.

“Everyone else just ignored it. They just continued fighting as if it was nothing. But I couldn’t. It was just _so damn terrifying_ and I was so horrified that I just put my weapon down and ran out of there.

“And sometimes I have nightmares about it. Or I’ll be doing something and I’ll see something that reminds me of it and I have to stop whatever I’m doing and just cry. Sometimes I even get panic attacks because it’s just _too much._ ”

Poe stared ahead, seeing his friend in a new light, seeing from just a single phone call the cracks that Finn hadn’t shown him before now. He knew he had to say something, but everything he wanted to say didn’t seem to fit this moment.

“Thanks for telling me this,” he said eventually. “I’m really sorry that you had to go through all that. That’s terrible.”

“And sometimes they’ll make homophobic comments at me too ‘cause I’m bi, and that just makes the panic attacks even worse. I transferred to this college just to escape them, but I guess they have connections or something, because I’m still harassed sometimes. And today, there was a really rough one, and they cornered me and pushed me around, and I had a huge panic attack when I got back to my apartment. I’m sorry for pushing all of this on you, but it was really rough on me, and I needed to vent.”

“Hey, buddy, it’s okay. You can tell me anything. I’m your friend.”

Suddenly, Poe had an urge to do more for Finn, and he said, “I’m coming over to your apartment. I can’t comfort you properly over phone. I’ll be there in a few.”

When he knocked at the door at Finn's apartment, he heard a weak "Come in!" from inside, and he opened the door to find Finn sobbing on the couch. Quickly, he came over to him and wrapped his arms around him. Finn returned the hug and cried into Poe's chest as Poe gently stroked his hair and whispered, "It's okay, Finn. It's okay. I'm here for you."

Deep inside him, a voice whispered that Finn had come out to him as bi during his vent, but he suppressed it.  _Now's not the time. I'm not going to take advantage of a guy who's on the verge a panic attack._

Finn's breath evened out, his sobs slowing down and stopping as Poe continued to hug him. Then, he looked up and spoke.

“Hey, Poe, that shirt you’re wearing really makes your eyes stand out.”

Poe’s heart began to race furiously as he struggled to force out a response. “Thanks, buddy.”

“You have beautiful eyes. Has anyone ever told you that before?” Finn didn’t notice Poe’s nervousness, or if he did, he chose to ignore it. The man wasn’t crying anymore, Poe couldn’t help but notice, but his arms were still around him, warm and soft and gentle, their hug slightly looser but continuing.

Comebacks ran through Poe’s brain, ones that he would use with anyone else in any other situation. _Yeah, of course I’ve been told. What do you think? I’m handsome._ But Finn was here, the most beautiful man in the world, and he was touching him and smiling softly, and all other thoughts disappeared like dandelion seeds in the wind.

“Your eyes are pretty, too. Like chocolate.” _Jesus Christ, did I really say that? That is so cliche. Oh my god, Dameron, you-_

Finn leaned into him and laughed, and the sound was like sunshine made into a noise. “You’re so sweet, Poe. I’m so glad that you’re my friend.”

Poe was silent, a bittersweet happiness swirling inside of him. _I’m just a friend to him. But that’s enough, isn’t it?_ He placed his head on top of the other man’s, wrapping his arms around him from the front, neither of them saying a word in the calmness and beauty of Finn’s living room.

“But I want you to be more.”

Poe was so startled that he clenched Finn tighter and jumped.

“I know a really good coffee place just a couple of blocks from my house. Good place for a first date. Do you want to go?” He said this last sentence nervously, loosening his grip on Poe. “I mean, if you don’t, then it’s okay, this doesn’t change-”

“Yes!” Poe realized that he had been hesitating, flustered, not knowing what to say. “Yes! I would love to go!”

Finn was silent, and when Poe looked down, he could see that he was as nervous as Poe himself felt. Unable to resist any longer, he leaned forward and kissed the top of his head.

“Tomorrow, then?” Finn asked, face against Poe’s chest.

“That would be _perfect._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> @Patrice: You /know/ I put in that Stranger Things reference just for you. And the key emoji thing. And the Minion.  
> I probably won't publish anything else on this site throughout the month of November (this was ready beforehand) because of NaNoWriMo, but I'll be back (like before, you will fight the fight and win the war, for my love, for my grace, and you'll love me till your dying days) in December. I have a really big crossover planned that I'm gonna write then, as well as three Hamilton fics, NaNoWriMo editing, and an original work that I'm finishing up (and probably other things as well because my brain is non-stop) :)  
> To the one Great Minds subscriber: I am incredibly sorry for not updating when I promised to. I was swamped with stuff to do in the last days of October. I promise I'll finish it first order of business come December.


End file.
